Rubio's Dinner Menu or How to Make Your Tummy Flat

So my co-workers and I went to Rubio's for our traditional "Taco Tuesday". We had to arrive separately because of the little tasks that we do before dinner, whatever they are. I pull into the parking garage at Rubio's. I noticed a woman getting out of a Porsche wearing not but a sports bra and low-(and dammit I mean low)rise workout pants. She was fiddling about her door so I thought she might have had sense and was looking for a jacket. But of course, this is LA and I thought wrong. She closed her door and starting walking briskly ahead of me.

I followed her exaggerated hip swinging ass up the car ramp and as fate would have it she was also goin into Rubio's. So it was kind of a good thing mostly bad. She did have a nice body: plus 1. But I had just earlier in the evening had been complaining about how much weight I was gaining since craft services began. It didn't help that I had eaten two pieces of triple layered strawberry cake that day. I felt this was God's way of telling me to "PUT THE FORK DOWN!". Anyway. I saw my co-worker and motioned him over next to me since I was standing directly behind the fitness queen. As he came over he jokingly crushed his paper cup and put in his mouth. Yea, me too. But then I started looking closer. Highly manicured nails: minus 2. How can you lift weights with those things? Oh, and the Porsche: minus 2. Daddy or sugar daddy bought that for you. Wearing a baseball hat: Seriously minus 100. If you're gonna walk around half butt ass naked, what's the point let's see your face too.

She ordered first and then I ordered next to her. The dude helping me was highly distracted by the nakedness next to me. This is how it went:

Me: Yea Hi, I want two flour taco's for here.
Drool-boy: (as his eyes darted between me and rack attack) Uh uh . . . taco's? What kind?
Me: Oh sorry Fish.
Drool-Boy: (clumsily laying his fingers on the touch screen distracted by the steel abbed woman) Flour or Corn?
Me: ( I must have had an "are you retarded?" face on) slowly-I want two flour fish . . .
Drool-boy: Oh yea yea, Flour right. sheepish laugh Sorry. And what's the name?
Me: (It's a long ass story but I always use Disney names for name required ordering) Uh. (I drew a blank, now I was distracted) Nala (If you don't know, you should get some knowledge!)
Drool-Boy: Nahhhlay?
Me: N-A-L . .
Drool-Boy: N-A-A-L
Me: N-A-L-A
Drool-Boy: OK. Thank you.

Then I got the receipt.


Wow Dude. Really. So, on top of my name being screwed. This girl got her food HANDED to her. Dude came out from behind the counter and gave her the tray. Then 4 seconds later he called my name which was now "NAIL" and made me walk. Maybe if I was half naked and ripped like a superstar I'd have my shit brought to me. Whatever.