I'm Not Even Kidding

There was a homeless person in Disneyland. You may think I'm being exceedingly judgmental but I have several pieces of proof. My friends and I went to DL and saw this woman standing in the middle of Adventureland talking t herself. Upon initial observation we thought she was a hippie on a Bluetooth. Which is fine, I can understand if dirty dreadlocks are your style but when we got closer it was a different story. No blinking light anywhere around her ears and she was more mumbling like a crazy lady. The first question was , how did she get in? There is the security where you get your bags checked, then there's the entrance. It's like freakin Fort Knox! Even I get hassled sometimes. There is no way that she could have snuck in through the exits and REALLY no way she could have gotten in through the "back". We were just so flabbergasted that we just lingered around her trying to figure out her story and see if security was going to come charging through. Nothing. But how is this possible. Almost every single person that crossed her path did a double take or grabbed their children closer, or BOTH!

So we carry on but of course not before I snapped a picture, I was too chicken, nay too fearful of her craziness to take a picture from the front. You have to get pretty close to take a good pic with the iPhone. Later in the evening I went to Bengal BBQ by the Indiana Jones ride and lo and behold, our homeless friend! She was ORDERING FOOD! How is she affording this? Really. Admittance is at minimum $60 and then food! WHAT!?! In the clearer lights of the BBQ restaurant I could see that her fingers were FILTHY! But I mean if she is standing there with food she ordered obviously it's ok. She must have paid right? And no security was called so . . . What?! At this point I was alone in line, my friends were browsing a store nearby. I tried frantically to all them both but my phone for whatever crazy reason was not dialing out. No busy signal nothing, just not dialing. At this point I figured this was some cruel joke by some higher power to make me witness this alone. Again, people in line and passers by were doing double takes and asking the same question we had asked earlier. She stood at the end of this counter for a solid 8 minutes! Talking to herself! What?!? I just couldn't handle this, not having a personal witness to this madness. She inhaled her food like she hadn't eaten in weeks. Stood there for a minute more and then turned around and headed into line, the 50 minute line, for Indiana Jones. OMG, now, I don't know if she smelled but her clothing was really dirty and like I said before her hands were disgusting. About 2 minutes after she left my friends came back and I frantically told them about the sighting. We sat down to eat and just a we were starting to eat two "Mickey Mouse" police walked briskly past us and into the Indiana Jones ride.

After that nothing. No commotion. Nothing. Kind of disappointing but we didn't want to waste OUR time waiting for this lady to come out. End of story. I try to conjure up an elaborate epic story of how she got in and her life, but my brain starts to overheat because it just doesn't make sense.

Note: I know her clothes look OK in the picture, but trust me, they were not.